


Four Seasons

by okikaguslut



Category: Gintama
Genre: Angst, Canon Het Relationship, Canon Relationships, Canonical Character Death, Death, Drabble, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Illnesses, One Shot, Sad Ending, Terminal Illnesses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-26
Updated: 2018-08-26
Packaged: 2019-07-02 20:08:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15803694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/okikaguslut/pseuds/okikaguslut
Summary: Winter is ending.The thick blankets of snow, the bone-chilling cold and the lonely nights - they are finally gone.Spring is starting.It starts for one reason and one reason only.





	Four Seasons

**Author's Note:**

> thought i’d take a break from okikagu to write some sad hijimitsu for once :(

Winter is ending. 

The thick blankets of snow, the bone-chilling cold and the lonely nights - they are finally gone. 

Spring is starting.

It starts for one reason and one reason only.

She arrives as gracefully as the petite flower buds blooming in the cherry blossom trees overhead; her lips are pink and supple like their petals.

The first time she looks at him, he feels his heart stop. Her warm smile penetrates his cold exterior to reach his core. It takes time, but he’s slowly being thawed out.

Summer is starting.

She is to summer as he is to winter. Everything about her is bright and inviting. Everything about him is dark and forbidding. Even then, she is drawn to him as he is to her.

Autumn is starting.

There is talk about moving to Edo. Rumours are just rumours. He does his best to ignore them and directs his attention elsewhere.

Winter is starting and this time, he doesn’t dread it.

They spend frigid nights together, drink hot sake together, make love together under the stars. For once in his life, he doesn’t want winter to end.

Spring is starting.

They are leaving Bushuu. He can’t take her with him. He doesn’t _want_ to take her with him. The future ahead is far more brutal and harsh than all the winters he has spent alone and she will wither before his eyes if he takes her.

She needs sun and open air, not the cramped, dirty conditions that Edo has to offer.

It is one of the hardest decisions he’s ever had to make.

Summer is starting.

He doesn’t think he’s suited for city life, but he eventually adjusts. He gets help from his comrades and some other acquaintances. Everyday is something new, but he never forgets the old.

Autumn is starting.

The old comes back to see him. She’s engaged now.

He has no right to be jealous or upset - after all, _he’s_ the one that ended things - but he can’t help it. When he thinks of her summery self with another man, he begins to doubt his decisions.

On the battlefield, there is no room for emotions. Regret and hesitation will kill you faster than Japanese steel. He knows this well, but he is tired of being cold. He is so sick of the squelch of blood and flesh against his blade; it makes his stomach turn. He misses warmer weather.

Winter is starting.

She is sick. He reprimands her in his mind.

_You should’ve stayed in Bushuu like I told you to. Why did you come here?_

Anger courses through his veins; he is furious at himself. She is kind - _too_ kind - and kind people are always taken advantage of. It is that same anger that pushes him to kill the man she is engaged to. The bastard had it coming anyways.

Her condition worsens.

That ridiculous demonic vice-commander title is a complete lie because he’s never felt so helpless and weak before. He can’t face her. He’s a damned coward. And he doesn’t deserve to see her during her final moments.

She passes away.

He doesn’t want to believe it. He _can’t_ believe it.

If cruel fate can steal the human embodiment of kindness from his fingertips, what hope is there for him? They aren’t going to meet in the afterlife, that much is for certain. There’s a special seat in hell reserved for him.

He stands on the rooftop of the hospital with a bag of spicy crackers - her favourite. Snacking hardly seems appropriate at the time, but it’s the only thing he is capable of doing in his current mental state.

Tears form in his eyes and his throat aches with the pain of holding them back. He blames the fierce heat from the chili peppers; he knows that’s a blatant lie.

Winter ends, but spring never comes.


End file.
